Dear John…

john-marshall I know we’ve had some rocky times together, but you can’t just walk out on me like this. Was it something I said? I know that at times I disapproved of your relationship with Avinash, but with a relationship as long-standing as ours, a little jealousy’s going to set in eventually.

So where will you go now? Will I see you growing your hair out and hanging around in bars with Eric? Or shaving your head and pontificating with Jim? Don’t tell me you have a new flame already – or are you going back to Marc? I know you always had a soft spot for him.

Well, wherever you end up going, good luck, I guess. There’ll always be a warm welcome for you here, when you’re done flirting with your fancy new friends.

Yours bitterly,

The Web Analytics Industry

 

[PS Seriously, good luck with your move, John. You’ve done a great job at ClickTracks and I for one will be watching carefully to see where you apply your talents next]

2 thoughts on “Dear John…

  1. Are you sure you want to “waste” your incredible talent on Gatineau? 🙂
    Your mastery of the English language and flair for almost Monty Pythonish levels of comedy are so wasted in Redmond!
    Think about it, MSFT’s loss could be the world’s gain!
    -Avinash.

  2. I’m only writing this schtick because I haven’t had anything interesting to say about web analytics for the past two weeks (some would say more). But yes, in a parallel universe I am a successful comedy writer, glamorously hob-nobbing it with the likes of Stephen Fry and Rowan Atkinson. Best I can offer in this universe is that Richard Curtis used to be a (near-)neighbour of mine, and I kept bumping into him in the drugstore and deli. But that was in my Notting Hill days – celebs are harder to come by in Seattle (and no, Blake Lewis doesn’t count).

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