Dear John…

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john-marshall I know we’ve had some rocky times together, but you can’t just walk out on me like this. Was it something I said? I know that at times I disapproved of your relationship with Avinash, but with a relationship as long-standing as ours, a little jealousy’s going to set in eventually.

So where will you go now? Will I see you growing your hair out and hanging around in bars with Eric? Or shaving your head and pontificating with Jim? Don’t tell me you have a new flame already – or are you going back to Marc? I know you always had a soft spot for him.

Well, wherever you end up going, good luck, I guess. There’ll always be a warm welcome for you here, when you’re done flirting with your fancy new friends.

Yours bitterly,

The Web Analytics Industry


[PS Seriously, good luck with your move, John. You’ve done a great job at ClickTracks and I for one will be watching carefully to see where you apply your talents next]

2 thoughts on “Dear John…”

  1. Are you sure you want to “waste” your incredible talent on Gatineau? 🙂
    Your mastery of the English language and flair for almost Monty Pythonish levels of comedy are so wasted in Redmond!
    Think about it, MSFT’s loss could be the world’s gain!

  2. I’m only writing this schtick because I haven’t had anything interesting to say about web analytics for the past two weeks (some would say more). But yes, in a parallel universe I am a successful comedy writer, glamorously hob-nobbing it with the likes of Stephen Fry and Rowan Atkinson. Best I can offer in this universe is that Richard Curtis used to be a (near-)neighbour of mine, and I kept bumping into him in the drugstore and deli. But that was in my Notting Hill days – celebs are harder to come by in Seattle (and no, Blake Lewis doesn’t count).

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